I). Mangalsutra:(Hindu tradition)
• Mangalyam tantunanena mama jeevana hetuna
kanthe badhnami subhage twam jeeva sarada satam”
• Though this mantra (hymn) is attributed to Hindu marriage ceremony that is chanted while tying the Mangalsutra, but the fact is it is not a mantra, and it is a promise sort whose meaning is as under:
“This is a sacred thread. This is essential for my long life. I tie this around your neck, O maiden having many auspicious attributes may you live happily for a hundred years“
• This practice is also an integral part of a marriage ceremony as prescribed by Manusmriti
• The groom ties the auspicious thread around the bride’s neck on the day of their holy nuptial as significance that their relationship would be as auspicious as the thread. It symbolises that they will be mates for life until death separates them. A mangalsutra is a symbol of marriage and the wife is meant to wear it all her life indicating the love and commitment the husband and wife have towards each other. South Indians believe that the mangalsutra needs to be tied in 3 knots with each knot carrying a significance – loyalty towards the husband, dedication to the family, and devotion to the lord
II). WEDDING RING:(Christians)
* Wedding ring symbolises the ever-ending circle of ring of love and faithfulness of both as an individual Christians and dedicated to a Christian life, and honestly raise their Children as such, promising all the necessary self declarations.
• Roman Catholic Church:
"Name., take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Because the equality of the spouses is emphasized in the Roman Catholic Sacrament of Marriage, generally the bride and groom each give to the other a wedding ring and recite the above formula in turn.
• Judaism:
"You are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel." In Orthodox Judaism, only the groom declares this in Hebrew; but in Reform Judaism, both the bride and groom declare it.[34] Many Orthodox Jewish men do not wear wedding rings.
• Anglican (Book of Common Prayer):
"Bless, O Lord, this ring to be a sign of the vows by which this man and this woman have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen... I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit
RATIONALE BEHIND IT:
* The hindu tradition of marriage does not recognise the equality of women with men, rather the subjugation of her. The focus remains in the over hyped sentiment of the 'mangalsutra' tied on her neck alone. A love between a husband and his wife, must display a sense of understanding, which rely on faith on God Almighty alone. It is in front of him, alone they have promised to be husband-wife. Not like the element of fire or a brahmin involved in it. Moreover the sanskrit slogans uttered by brahmins are not understandable by most of us. How can you involve in a relationship taking oath or promise in a language which you not at all understand. The premise on which the marriage is built is important. God Almighty, father of heaven and earth have established an institution of marriage, a sacrament which in his presence we have promised to treat her/him equal, to stand by her/him, to respect the bond of love made by God and approved by him, which if anyone tries to break, will infuriated God and would amount to disrespecting him. Only when we do a marriage, which recognises the promise or sacrament of God, and essentially places God as the orgin & witness of the marriage, then any Christian who fear the Lord, will think before infuriating him, by disrespecting her wife or trying to break the bond of marriage. This will also avoid adultery which is strictly prohibited in a Christian marriage whereas second marriage is not a big problem in a hindu marriage. So, ultimately the focus of such a hindu marriage always is male worshipping, lethargic in adultery, percolation of brahminism into the marriage relationship finally ending up loving some mangalsutra /object instead of realising that the real treasure is the companion whom God have given and to treat him/her equal. In Tamil culture also, the mangalsutra is not at all found in any phases of our civilization, rather suddenly have appeared as a symbol of wealth & social background, where a poor ties a pathetic turmeric knot whereas a rich and affluent ties a golden chain, within which itself there is a pattern and structure according to particular caste and sub-castes in Tamilnadu. In an object, a simple non living object, itself this much of inequality is seen means, followed by all sorts of inequalities in their lives also, portrays the brahminism evidently seen in lives of poor and pathetic ignorant people called hindus. If they are happy being subjugated let them be. Periyar have clearly objected to such nonsense in a marriage. I do not fully adhere periyar, but as a Christian, definitely a mangalsutra must not be the center of attraction for wealth, social affluence, inequality, adultery promoting and be a sign of slavery to brahminism. Then, why do we need a wedding ring? Yes i say we don't need a wedding ring too.. God's blessings and sacraments are invisible but long lasting. It does not need a mangalsutra or even a wedding ring too, but yet we can go for a ring, it's simple, both of us wear the same and there is no inequality in any form, and here the ring is just a symbol of marriage, not a symbol of wealth, social affluence and caste, rather if your a Christian, then a single plain wedding ring is more than enough.
• A Complete guide to a proper Christian-Judaism marriage with all meanings from the Bible:
https://www.learnreligions.com/christian-wedding-traditions-701948
- First Bridegroom enters the church
- Then Bride comes with her Father, who gives his daughter
- All necessary self declarations by both to Priest
- Exchange of wedding rings as the symbol of marriage rather than tie a mangalsutra which is a tradition mentioned in manusmriti
- Holding right hands together and promise
- Cutting of cake
CONCLUSION:
- Whether a ring or mangalsutra is entirely a personal opinion to choose. In this article, in specifically tell this to Christians alone. It is like a self reformation article and other community need not be offended of it.
- A Christian marriage, must be based on "trust in God" and "fear of breaching his promise done in front of him". It does not have a virtual symbol or object to be placed in front, like a mangalsutra or even a ring. I agree that, a symbol which always remind us of the bond we are is necessary, but a mangulsutra is not an option, rather a ring can be as I've justified before.
- Even a ring too is not to be the focus of marriage, rather the 'Holy Spirit' who guides us always, must be the guide, evidence and the symbol of our marriage. Does the Holy Spirit have a form? Do we need to remind him in a form like ring or a chain? No!! The Holy Spirit acting as a symbol of marriage, done before God Almighty, fearing not to breach the promise or bond of marriage, because of love of God also, is the key factor here. If you go for a mangalsutra, either to choose to make that marriage between two humans, with element of fire and brahminical process as witness, whereas when we keep the 'Holy Spirit' who is within our hearts, it would be the witness, guide and symbol of two humans engaged in a bond, promised in front of God Almighty, being the bond between Husband, Wife & God also. Such is a perfect Christian marriage.
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